Any and all human
relations, relation by blood or not, needs to be nurtured and maintained for it
to survive. Mistake that we do is taking a relation for granted - this happens
especially with blood relatives. We expect by the pre-existing condition of that
relationship it can survive and continue to exist. But it is not so in reality.
Any relation we have by birth is just a foundation/core that nature created for
us; it is our desire and effort that can
build the meaningful relation on top.
Nature does give one
advantage to blood-relatives - the foundation or the core of the relation.
However, with a strong bonding and connection we can build any relationship -
like friends, spouse etc. What basic tools do we need for building a strong
relationship ?
- Touch - physical contact with other human being strengthens the relationship. It is important to hold and hug our babies and kids as often as possible - which helps us bond with them and helps them feel wanted and secured. Read more about my view on this here - Hug and hold the hands of those WHO love you
- Being in personal space - we must try to be in the personal space or at least in social space (which space we are, defines our closeness to that other person) as much as possible, if we want to maintain a relationship. It is not just seeing the person that helps, but the energy field of both of our bodies and minds interact and help us maintain that relationship.
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| Personal Space (Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proxemics) |
- Hearing voice - if touch and being in personal space is not feasible, then try keeping in contact over phone. Voice is also one of the important ways we relate to other person. Even if we don't have anything serious to talk, just listening to each others voice helps us strengthen that bond. Women talk over phone more so than men, for this very reason.
- Writing - this is a fragile and thin thread that can hold the relationship for little longer; but needs double the effort and a great perseverance. As we have more and more families spread across the globe, writing to each other, even if it is mundane details of our life, becomes the last resort in keeping that relationship. And we should be glad that we have tools like e-mails, social networks, photo-sharing services which are much faster than olden days letters.
If we have not done
any of the above, then our relationship with that person is doomed. We may be
able to revive that relationship if we have had a deep rooted relation (like
blood relation) to begin with. If it is friend or a spouse (nature didn't provide
a strong foundation to these relations) then there is hardly any chance of
re-coopering from the fall out.
